


indebted to none

by kauket_616



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe-Kitsune, allison is a banshee, andrew "i've made a grave mistake" minyard, jean "touch neil and die" moreau, jean and neil are rly close pals, neil "you don't want no smoke" josten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 20:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18198902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kauket_616/pseuds/kauket_616
Summary: Andrew left Neil and never came back. Years down the line, Andrew summons Neil to ask for help in protecting Kevin from Riko.  Neil goes where he is called. Chaos ensues.





	indebted to none

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hiraethia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiraethia/gifts).



> This is my second contribution to AFTG Reverse. This work was inspired by the gorgeous art by hiraethia (hiraethia.tumblr.com). Also, thank you to Idnis for being my beta.

Neil was not one to complain. He lived an endless existence, people and entities coming and going from his life like water between his fingers. But, _fuck,_ was he in his feelings. Melancholy moods such as this one were not as hard to come by as he liked. Even so, it was rare that he wallowed, fixating on past pains and anticipating ones that were sure to come. He was Neil Josten, after all. Trouble followed him like moths to a flame. That didn’t mean he turned it away.

Maybe it was his nature. Or his upbringing, surely. But he was long past blaming either for the, albeit self-destructive, choices he made. Though, there were exceptions. Jean Moreau being the most glaring. His partner, his past, present, future, and not to mention a great deal of his self-control. Neil was nothing if not impulsive.

So when he felt the unfamiliar pull of a summoning, yet the familiar energy muddled in the midst, he did not do the sane thing. The right thing. His tails twitched, his laugh was wet and his grin was feral. He went where he was called.

* * *

 

Andrew Minyard had a single regret in his life. He would be hard pressed to admit it. He was at least that honest with himself. So with the knowledge that he would be staring that regret in the face in a manner of moments, he was ~~not~~ nervous.

With a viciousness, he cut down any thoughts regarding what he wished he’d done. Renee would tell him to stay in the present. Though, ~~the present was a bad place to be when you kept making the same mistakes.~~

Neil appeared as if he was meant to be here. As if it was his intention all along to show his face in Palmetto, South Carolina.

“Josten.” Andrew's voice was steady. Good.

“You called your ex?” Aaron’s voice dripped in disdain and frustration, recognizing the name.

Nicky squacked. “Ex?”

“I’m feeling so welcome already,” Neil said dryly, stretching.

“Oh fuck, he’s hot. Good for you, Andrew.”  
“Erik’s right there, Nicky,” Aaron snapped.

“I’m sure he agrees.”

Erik nodded. “I do.”

“Me too!” Matt chimed in.

Aaron scoffed over Dan’s laughter.

“This is all very flattering.” Neil hummed, eyes tracking Andrew’s group. Andrew had almost forgotten about the rest of the foxes in the room. Neil was already throwing him off. “But could someone tell me why I was called? I’d rather be...not here.” His eyes flickered to Kevin, to Andrew then away.

“We need you.” Kevin finally spoke up when Andrew did not.

Neil raised a brow. “I will not be party to any orgies.” He eyed Nicky. “No matter how pretty you are. The 70s were messy enough.”

Kevin’s jaw dropped and Allison cackled.

Andrew fished for a cigarette.

“That’s not--no. Not like that.” Kevin ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Andrew. Can you explain?”  
Neil’s gaze was a challenge. “Can you?”

“The Moriyamas--,” Andrew started.

“No.” Neil was succinct and firm in his refusal. Andrew had expected this. He knew Neil. At least the old Neil.

Neil would want nothing to do with the Moriyamas or anything Moriyama adjacent. Normally, Andrew was not one to negotiate limits, especially Neil’s. But he had made a promise, a deal. He briefly considered the notion that he made the deal because he knew it would lead him to this moment. His self-hatred increased.

“It is important.” The _I would not ask otherwise_ implied.

“To who I wonder.” Neil mused, eyes sharp. “Certainly not you.”

 _I want nothing. I care for nothing and no one._ Andrew clenched his jaw. He wondered if Neil heard the words, too. He wondered if Neil knew they were a lie. At least partially. That there was and continued to be a single exception.

“The Moriyamas want Kevin. I promised to keep him safe.”

Neil twitched. “And you’re making this my problem. Why?”

Why indeed?

Kevin inserted himself into the conversation. “You’re the Berserker. You’re strong. You can help.”

“I can,” Neil mused, eyeing the Foxes. “I’m not sure why I would. You know my name. You know what I endured.”

Kevin swallowed. “I do, but--.”

“But what? I get myself and your good friend out and what? You want me to jump back in?” Neil shook his head. “Do not think I have forgotten.”

“ _I didn’t know.”_

“I do not like secrets,” Andrew said as he turned to Kevin with a flick of his wrists, claws withdrawn. Aaron cursed. “We talked about this Kevin.”

Kevin tensed. “It’s just--.”  
Neil bared his teeth. “What happened to Jean is not _just_ anything.”

Andrew took a step towards Kevin. “Explain.”

Neil flicked his fingers. The movement was fluid yet the air around him was thick. He was close to shifting. All at the mere mention of this Jean. Andrew would kill Kevin for leaving him unaware.

“On your own time. Back to the topic at hand.”  
“This is information I should know,” Andrew argued.  
“I agree.” Neil cut his eyes to Andrew. “On your own time. I’d rather not listen to you overlook Jean’s past in the name of a promise.”

The whole room seemed to swell in surprise. They were not used to hearing anyone talk to Andrew in such a manner. And surviving.

“I like him,” Seth said.

* * *

 

Neil’s not sure what he was expecting when he was summoned. Even so, the reasoning was almost like a slap in the face. Andrew knew his past with the Moriyamas. The part they played in his own trauma.

Even with enough damning evidence telling Neil no, there was the rush in his veins and the itch under his skin that called for vengeance. For freedom, true freedom. Not an existence of looking over his shoulder with wonderings of _if_ and _when_ and _how much will it hurt?_ He didn’t want that for Jean. He didn’t want him living the life he had just bled and clawed and screeched his way out of. Jean would breathe easy.

Kevin too, he supposed.

Neil was not like Andrew, or most kitsune. He did not need promises and deals to protect those he loved (Though he suspected Andrew didn’t either. That the promises just served as shields).

No, Neil never needed those. He just needed a good reason. And a target.

He could pretend, though.

“What’s in it for me?”  
“The satisfaction of helping those in need?” The half-human girl drawled. Dan, someone called her.

“Try again.”

Kevin cleared his throat, suddenly sure of himself. “I will train you. You’re good but sloppy.”

“What could I possibly learn from you?”

Neil knew there was plenty he could learn. But the elder spirit was pretentious and irritating in nature.

“I am a seven-tailed--!”

“Six and a half, actually.”

“Excuse me?”  
“Six and a quarter, maybe. How bad was that hack job?”

Andrew blinked, claws disappearing at one point or another. “You always had such a smart mouth.”

“You could never handle it.”

“I could.”

“Until you couldn’t.”  
_Until you couldn’t._ Neil needed Jean. This had gone on long enough.

Neil sighed. “Ask me.”

Andrew looked as if he didn’t want to. “What will it take?”

Neil knew what he wanted the second he stepped into this room and saw Andrew surrounded by friends and family alike. “Truth.”

Andrew paused. Nodded. “Truth.”

Neil nodded in turn, eyes drifting over the Foxes. “If that’s all then?”

He needed to get out of here. It was all too much too soon.

His intention must have shown because Kevin spoke. Again. “You have to stay here.”

Neil flexed his hand. “ _Why?”_

“It’s safer that way and you know it. Do not argue.”

Neil tilted his head back and sighed, begging Inari for patience. “Fine. A moment.”

He would have to summon Jean.

 

Seeing Jean again was almost too much to bear. Neil hated to pull him away from where he was needed, but fuck did Neil need him too.

Neil fisted his shirt and jerked him forward. Jean went willingly, gliding towards him to speed up the process.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of Neil's mouth. He knew how much Jean enjoyed Jeremy’s company.

“Do not apologize, _mon ancre,_ ” Jean murmured, checking Neil over for obvious injuries. Neil stopped feeling insulted a long time ago. “I see that I am needed.”

Jean ran his hand through Neil’s hair, analyzing the room. Neil couldn’t help the small smile on his lips. He felt settled for the first time since entering Palmetto. His eyes rested and narrowed on Andrew before stepping in front of Neil.

Aaron scoffed.

Neil cursed. “You tall bastard. _Move.”_ He stepped from behind Jean and maneuvered himself until he was pressed against his side.

“Damn, Andrew.” Nicky crowed. “Is this another one yours? Congrats.”

“No,” Andrew gritted out. Emotions battled across his features until annoyance won.

Jean scowled at the notion.

“So who are you? Are we just letting anybody in here now? Fuck safety, huh?” Aaron queried, probably in response to his twin’s discomfort.

“Yes.” Andrew’s voice bordered on hostility. “Who have you summoned, rabbit?

Neil flinched.

“I’m Neil’s partner, Jean.”

Andrew’s face grew colder.

Nicky started to introduce himself, but Jean shifted to face Neil.

“ _Why are you here? Were you kidnapped?”_ Jean demanded in French. Kevin choked on his spit.

 _“No, I was summoned,”_ Neil responded in turn, almost amused by the notion of being kidnapped by this rag tag group.

 _“And you came?”_ The why was clearly implied.

Neil shrugged. “ _You were gone. And I had no one to play with.”_

 _“We really must work on this self-control of yours."_ Jean sighed. _“What do they want?”_

 _“Help.”_ Neil blinked. _  
_ _“What are you not saying, little one?”_

“Is no one else finding this a little arousing?”  
“Nick, shhh,” Erik said. “Let them speak.”

“Yeah, Nicky. Shut the fuck up.”

“Seth, I will go all honey badger on your ass.”

“Oh my God,” Allison moaned.

Neil and Jean ignored their squabbling and Andrew’s intent stare.

_“Getting rid of Riko Moriyama.”_

_“_ **_No_ ** _.”_

The room quieted.

_“I’ve already said yes.”_

_“Why would you do such a thing? Is it for_ him?” Jean’s upper lip curled.

Neil shook his head, pressing further into Jean as if assuring himself that he was there. Safe. Away from the orchestrations and whims of the Moriyamas. “ _It is for you.”_ Neil rolled his eyes. _“And Kevin, I suppose.”_

“I can hear you.”

They both ignored him.

“ _I cannot ask you to do this again. I won’t.”_

Neil grinned. _“Jean.”_

Jean wrapped his arms around him and tilted his head back to gaze at the ceiling, probably calling out to Inari for patience. Neil laughed.

Jean stared at him. _“You laugh but I worry. What will we do about the blonde one?”_

Neil’s smile was tinged in grief over a time in his life that had come and gone. _“Nothing to be done.”_

* * *

 

Dan thought it would be good for them to go out together. To bond. As if this was a team sport and not a desperate group of people held together by their inclination to murder in order to solve their problems. Neil did not say this. He held his tongue for once and allowed Nicky and Allison to dress him.

“How are you so bad at this?” Nicky groaned. “You’ve been alive since like forever.”

“That’s almost rude.” Neil sighed. “It changes so much. Who can keep up?”

“Me,” Allison and Nicky sang in unison.

Neil eyed their apparel. He could not disagree.

* * *

 

The night was going fine. As fine as one would expect when half of the group was avoiding the other due to unspoken trauma and betrayals when it happened.

They were in Eden’s Twilight and Neil was trying to forget what he had seen years ago, but it was hard. Because Roland was still here and the atmosphere was still the same and the only variation was Neil himself. He wanted to shift, even partially would have done it. But humans were present.

He knew he should leave. Get up and go somewhere he could run free. Somewhere he could hunt. Tear his claws and teeth into something.

Then he heard it. Nicky’s laugh. Except something was off. It was a little on the high-pitched side, steeped in discomfort. Neil didn’t like that.

He slid from his seat in one fluid moment and loped to where Nicky was cornered. He’d have to have a talk with Erik about leaving his other half unprotected.

“Is there a problem?”

The man turned to dismiss Neil but was pleasantly surprised at what he found. Neil could not say the same.

The sneer that was meant to be menacing transformed into a drunken leer. “Me and him were just about to take this outside. You’re more than welcome to join, doll.”

Neil sent Nicky a reassuring smile. “I’d love to….?”

“Carl.”

What a god awful fucking name.

When they stepped outside, Nicky and Neil saw what was a run of the mill rear of the club. Carl could not say the same.

Neil assumed that the rest of the Foxes came when they noticed the pair missing or maybe it was the screaming. He truly couldn’t say. He was too busy watching a masterpiece in the making. Inari above, did time make him cruel.

Carl was seeing horror of his own mind’s making. He saw and watched as he was victim to his own immorality with a certain twist that would blessedly haunt him every time he’d close his eyes. He was crumbling, but Neil wanted him upright. Wanted to see the realization in his eyes. To make sure it was true and took root. Neil's hand gripped his face and claws erupted. Stray trails of blood dripped down from the puncture wounds, but they wouldn’t leave much of a scar. A pity.

“That’s enough, okay? Enough,” Nicky implored.

Neil ignored him. “You shouldn’t corner people,” A baring of teeth. “It’s not polite.”

“Okay, I get it. _I get it!_ ” Carl cried out as he pushed to get away. A difficult task as he also tried to avoid Neil’s claws.

Nick was near frantic when he said, “Andrew, come on. Get him to stop.”

“I do not control him.” Andrew's head cocked. “And a lesson needs to be learned.”

Neil resisted the urge to preen.

“He’s learned it, okay? Please, _enough_.”

Neil let the man go in an abrupt motion. Anything so Nicky would not say please again. Good terms or not, he knew Andrew hated that word.

“Come on,” Neil said with a grin, tilting his head and leaning against the brick wall. Carl forgotten as he scurried away. “I was just having a little fun. You like fun, yes Nicky?”

“Well yes but--”

“And you wouldn’t want to spoil my fun.” It was phrased like a question, but sounded more like a statement of truth.

“Do not threaten him, fox,” Aaron snarled. It was not nearly as threatening as his brother’s.

“Is he not also a fox? I’m confused.” Neil asked, entirely too convincing in his feigned ignorance.

Aaron tensed in irritation and offense.

“Oh, a mortal then.” Neil nodded. “Makes sense.”

“Hey!” Matt exclaimed. “What’s wrong with being human?”

Neil smiled a smile that was hardly genuine, but still believable. “Nothing at all, Matthew. You’re lovely.”

Truth be told, Neil didn’t believe there was anything particularly wrong with being mortal. Mortal or not, people in general just had a way of being destructive. Rude. Selfish. Violent.

Not that he could talk. History spoke for itself.

“I just don’t think it was necessary is all,” Nicky insisted.

Neil looked confused. “He was rude to you. Now, he will think twice about being rude to anyone again. Problem solved.”

Nicky spoke to Erik in German, now in his arms. “Sounds like something Andrew would say.”

* * *

 

Neil awoke with Jean seething next to him. He rose, eyes only for Jean.

“What is it? Did Kevin do something?”

Jean inclined his head towards the door.

He appeared to have Renee in some kind of hold. She looked calm, despite being held captive by two irate kitsune.

“Why?”

“She was attempting to bind you while you slept,” Jean’s frame shook. “I stopped her.”

The shift was instant, smooth as water. There was not a thought in Neil's mind as he leapt off the bed towards her. His six tails twitched in agitation.

_Leash him. Scared Jean. Reneereneerenee. Andrew. Can’t kill. Andrew. Safe._

He paced back and forth in front of her. Her unease began to show.

“He was out of control at Eden’s.”

Jean growled. “He is never out of control.”

“He is the Berserker.” She shook her head. “It is his nature.”

“That is what they call him. It is not who he is.”

“You did not see him--”

“I have seen him far longer than you, priest.” Jean's voice shook in outrage and Neil wanted to rip out Renee’s throat. “If he was out of control, you’d be dead.”

Renee was silent, gaze resting on Neil in contemplation. “My apologies. I was only doing what I thought was best.”  
“ _Leave us.”_

Jean released her and Renee was gone.

Neil rushed Jean in a manner that would have been terrifying if it had been anyone else.

He checked him over as well as he could in his fox form. Jean comforted him through soft words and touches, assurances of his safety.

“Come back to me” and “She didn’t touch me” and “You are safe” and “ _I promise, I promise, I promise”._

Neil’s shift was reluctant but necessary. He wanted to run and leap. He wanted to show Renee that actions had consequences.

“I need to see Andrew,” is what he said.

Jean stiffened, then ran his hand through Neil’s hair in a soothing manner. It was a small relief. “Why?"

“To tell him of his wayward priest.”

Jean was quiet. He made it clear he did not appreciate the blond. Not after he abandoned Neil. Not after he left Neil to deal with those people.

But he felt the unspent energy thrumming in the air. Then: “This will soothe you.”

Neil's nod was jerky.

“Then go.”

* * *

 

Andrew had hundreds of years to come to terms with the truths about himself. So he was able to admit to himself that in the years since he’d seen Neil, this was not how he pictured finally seeing him back in his bedroom.

He was glowing. Though there was always a faint gleam to him, this was something else entirely. Neil was angry. Not annoyed. Genuine rage and a glimmer of panic radiated from his being. He was not surprised he’d partially shifted. He watched Neil’s tails quiver, feeling phantom softness under his palm.

Andrew shifted in his position against the windowsill, cigarette in his hand forgotten.  
“You’re in my room,” is what he was finally able to say.

Neil looked as if he could spit fire. Andrew hoped he didn’t.

“Tell your second-rate priest that the next time she attempts to _leash me,_ ” the words were hardly recognizable through a snarl. “She will not enjoy the consequences.”

“Renee.”

Neil’s upper lip curled.

“I will speak with her.” And Andrew would. She should not have even entertained the idea of binding a kitsune, let alone a nogitsune. Especially not Neil. Yes, speaking with her was paramount. But he knew a cornered Neil was dangerous. History spoke for itself.

“Do so.” Neil turned to leave.

“Neil. Stay.”

A wordless snarl.

“I want to tell you truths.”

“You want nothing.”

Andrew wanted to tell him that he was the exception to every rule he had and would ever have. ~~_This was dangerous. This was weakness. I should have never summoned him._~~

He said none of that. “Shut up and listen.”

Andrew told him about how Kevin came running to Wymack with six and a half tails between his legs because Riko had gotten it into his head that Kevin was too strong for his own good. How Kevin preached and moaned in his ear about how Inari set him on his path to protect him from Riko. How Kevin didn’t want to be held captive to an agreement of his long dead mother. How Andrew eventually gave in because protecting Kevin meant protecting Aaron and Nicky in turn.

“Did they get a deal too, I wonder.”

“Careful, rabbit.”

“Can you really talk?” _Didn't you run too?_

“Aren't we the pair.”

* * *

 

Winning over Seth was never a goal or thought in Neil's mind. It was still easier than expected.

He did not know when it happened. Maybe they bonded over their shared hatred of the Moriyamas. Or the way in which they both showed no mercy for those that wronged him and his. Perhaps it was the way Neil did not flinch at his past. Neil had seen and done far too much to do so. Whatever it was, Neil could not say he did not value their friendship. It was rough and haphazard in nature. Neil would die to protect it.

It was moments like these.

Jean was gone. Neil’s head rested in Seth’s lap and his legs on Allison. The first time, Seth called him a “touch starved bastard”. The term certainly applied. Still, he couldn’t find room to be embarrassed between the contentment that settled in his chest from Seth’s fingers in his hair and the fondness as Allison nitpicked his existence.

“So the Berserker, huh?” Allison drawled.

Neil cut his eyes to her. “You couldn’t even pretend to be subtle?”

“Not in her wheelhouse, Red,” Seth said.

“My hair isn’t even that red. It’s more brown than anything,” Neil grumbled, goodnaturedly.

“Stalling,” Allison sang.

Seth rolled his eyes. “Better to just give her what she wants. Or else she might scream.”

“I trained him so well.”

“Fuck you very much.”

“A charmer, truly.”

A smile tugged at Neil’s lips as he closed his eyes, listening to them gripe. A sharp tug at his locks made him open his eyes.

“Oi! It’s story time.”

Neil hummed, eyes drifting closed again. “I tracked down and killed everyone who ever meant me harm. The end.”

There were a few beats of silence. Neil pretended not to be worried. Just because Seth and Allison’s friendship wasn’t hard earned didn’t mean he wanted to lose it. Then Allison spoke.

“You suck at storytelling.”

Neil released a breath.

* * *

 

For someone so affected by the orchestrations of the Moriyamas, Neil knew very little about them. He knew that they empowered his father. He knew that his father’s _training_ had only in part been for his own amusement, but mostly so that he could be forged into their weapon. What he did not know, or more accurately _who,_ was Ichirou Moriyama.

“You want me to go up against someone who's protected by an eight-tailed fox?” Neil’s tone was incredulous, but Andrew could hear the amusement building in his voice. “Well can’t say you’ve gotten boring.”

“He is a pest.” Andrew simply stated as if he was a mere obstacle.

Seth snorted. “ _We_ are the pests, a fly in his soup.”

Nicky sucked his teeth. “You just aren’t old enough to try out the Miyagi sayings. Sorry, sugar plum.” He flicked his two tails, pointedly. “Try again when you get on my level.”  
Seth narrowed his eyes. “You’re barely older than me.”

“Age is _not_ just a number. Nicky Hemmick.”

“Did he just quote himself?” Dan muttered.

Kevin groaned. “Can we focus? My life is literally on the line.”

“And Jean’s,” Neil reminded.

To Neil’s surprise, Andrew nodded.

Kevin swallowed. “And Jean’s.”

“What do we do?” Matt prompted.

“It’s obvious.”

At the rise of eyebrows, Neil just sighed.

“You're looking at this all wrong.”

“Cut to it, fox,” Aaron clipped.

“You cannot attack the wolf and expect the pack not to follow, retaliate.”

Seth made the universal sign for get on with it.

“If you want to take down one Moriyama, you have to take down them all.” The room seemed to swell with disbelief. Neil relented. “Or cripple them really bad.”

“Must we resort to mass murder?” Renee asked, weary.

“Now look who's mind is in the gutter?” Neil crooned. “Murder is not the goal, but it certainly isn't ruled out. No, we just need to cripple them. Show them that one lone wolf isn't worth the fall of the pack.”

“Anyone else think this metaphor is offensive?” Matt asked.

“To who exactly?” Nicky drawled.

“To whom,” Kevin corrected.

“Werewolves,” Allison tilted her head. “Obviously.”

“Werewolves are real?” Nicky’s voice was cautiously excited.

The room was simultaneously filled with replies of “How do you not know this?” and “No shit” and “Where have you been?”

“ _How have you not told me?_ ” Nicky exclaimed.

“Calm, my love,” Erik slid an arm around Nicky’s waist. “I will introduce you to one. He is a friend.”

“Okay, you're out of the dog house.”

“Oh my god, Nicky that's racist.”

Neil stared at Andrew. “You did this. You summoned me here.”

* * *

 

The plan was simple. Send a white fox to Riko with the message that Kevin and Jean would never come back to the Nest. That they were both under the protection of a nogitsune, two kitsunes, a mujina, a banshee, a priest, and two half-mortals with hearts of steel. It would not do for Riko to cause unnecessary trouble.

This was for Renee’s benefit more than anything. Kevin and Jean both knew Riko would not take the out.

But that was fine; this was all a trap of Neil’s making. Riko and all his protection would not survive what was coming. Lessons needed to be learned. Neil was glad to teach them and Andrew had a promise to keep. That was all that mattered now. The rest would come later.

* * *

 

A snow white fox with glowing red eyes brought word that Riko refused peace. This was a surprise to no one. They were ready. Andrew just had to speak to Neil first. He would not enter a fight with words unsaid.

It began with an undisputed truth.

“You left and you never came back.” It wasn’t an emotional accusation, but simply a fact.

“No,” Andrew agreed. “It wasn't safe.”

“And when it was safe?”

A beat of silence.

Neil continued. “Wasn't worth it, I guess.”

“Stop.”

Neil was never one to ignore Andrew's no.

“Stop what?”

“Putting yourself down. It is annoying.”

“History speaks for itself.”

Andrew flinched. He didn’t like this game; a sardonic twist of his words where Neil was the victim.

“Neil, enough.”

Neil just nodded, looking off a bit to the side. As if looking at Andrew head-on was just a bit too much in the moment. “It's fine. You found your family.”

“Your martyrdom is not amusing.”

“I found Jean,” was his denial. This was not martyrdom, at least not in the traditional sense. Neil might have lost something, but he gained something as well.

Andrew itched for a cigarette. Something substantial other than this hollow feeling in his chest.

“I will give you a truth.”

“Tell me.”

“When I left, I had just found out about Aaron and Nicky’s existence. Aaron had tracked him down through some sick desire for a family.”

“Did Aaron find you, too?”

“Erik, actually. We met a lifetime ago and he clearly remembered me being kitsune.”

“And Aaron is not. How?”  
“Cursed. Pissed off some witch and now he’s stuck, unchanging in an ever-changing world.”

“Nicky?”

“Mujina.”

Neil hummed, processing. His eyes were half-lidded as he considered Andrew.

“Truth for a truth,” Andrew offered.

“You always liked your deals.” Neil grinned, then shrugged lazily. “Sure.”  
“You could have asked for anything. Why truths?”

Neil tugged his teeth between his lips. “I wanted to know what I was missing out on. I wanted to know why you left for good.”

Andrew leaned closer. “Is that your next question? Why?”

Neil shook his head. “Not yet.”

“A truth on credit, then.” He looked over Neil’s shoulder. “I missed you.”

* * *

 

Riko Moriyama was not much to look at. He was a spoiled child with nothing much to show for himself other than those he hid behind.

Neil nearly expected this when they told him Riko had the protection of Ichirou. Should have expected this when he came face to face Tetsuji, looking as ruthless as he was rumored to be. Even so, he just didn’t expect it to be so similar to the last time. He was not as complex as he painted himself out to be. Neil had a handful of fears and he’d already conquered most of them.

So it really should not have come as a surprise that he’d be seeing the same thing. Only more depraved.

It was Neil’s story without the happy ending, as if the climax went on and on and on. Monsters that fell rising again to terrify him once more. Ghosts of three lifetimes ago haunting him as if they had never left. Blood matting his fur and chunks missing from his hide. It wouldn’t stop. Not until Neil put a blade through the root of it all. So he did. For a second time. And just like last time red hair shifted to blonde, ice blue eyes to hazel, and a face that he was all too familiar morphed into one he would never dream of hurting.

It was not nearly as dramatic as one would expect. No dramatic last words or rivers of blood.

Just a phantom pain in his chest. A need to crawl somewhere unseen and unbothered. Or a cliff to throw himself off of.

When Neil came to, it was to the sight of Tetsuji’s throat ripped out and a hole in his chest. Andrew's maw was dripping with the blood of a fleeing Riko Moriyama. Neil could breathe. Soon Jean would too.

* * *

 

When all was said and done and Neil was sufficiently healed, Andrew came to him. Neil wanted to check him over. To make sure the illusion was only that and his chest, his being was in tact.

“What illusion did he show you?” Andrew asked once they were alone. Once Neil had calmed down enough to see that Andrew was alive and present, unharmed by the deeds of a Wesninski.

“No illusion. Only truth. The past.”

Andrew’s silence was not pressing. Neil wanted to tell him anyway.

“One of my father’s associates caught up to me. While he had me, he showed me you. You were dead and it was done in a brutal way. I did it.”

Neil was quiet and his breath hitched. “I still see it sometimes. Jean has to remind me of what’s true.”

Andrew felt fury and refused to acknowledge the guilt. “He was lying. You would never hurt me.”

“I know that. Knew that. I still had to see for myself. So I went searching for you. And when I found you, I felt like I could breathe again. You were with Roland.” He paused as if lost in thought. Andrew wanted to tear the world to pieces. “Aaron and Nicky and everyone else were there at Eden’s. You were safe, all of you.” Neil’s tone lost more of its luster. “I realized I was threatening that just by being in the room.”

“You went berserk.”

“You heard about that.”

“The aftermath, yes.”

“I was...frustrated. I missed you. I got it into my head that you’d come back if I stopped being a danger, a threat, a risk.”

“Neil.”

“I took them all out. But you were still gone and all I had was a trail of bodies.” He rolled his eyes. “Of course, he exaggerated some of what I did. But it could have easily happened. Easily.”

Neil’s eyes grew distant and Andrew found himself at a loss. He knew this, but he didn’t _know._ He didn’t want to. Didn’t want to think about Neil in pain, emotional or otherwise. Now, he was back reliving it because of some ill-conceived deal he made with Kevin. Because of his relentless curiosity.

“You shouldn’t--” he started, fully intending on saying something profound and not all self-serving.

“ _Mon ancre,_ I heard. Why did you not call me?” Jean swept into the room.

Neil perked up and even offered a grim smile. “Figured you’d be tired of me by now.”

He said it as a joke. Both men in the room knew it wasn’t. Neil’s martyrdom knew no bounds.

“Come,” Jean said, helping Neil carefully out of bed. It was second nature by now to be mindful of his injuries. “You need rest. And a bath.” His nose wrinkled.

Neil groaned. “Yes to the first. The second is too much work.”

“I’ll help, you lazy menace.”

“Your bedside manner is terrible, I hope you know that.”

Andrew watched the scene like a car crash. He did not want to see Neil get fussed over by someone who wasn’t him but it was hard to look away. Neil leaned heavily against Jean’s side without an ounce of tension.

Andrew imagined it was deserved. He imagined he deserved much worse.

* * *

 

Neil came back a week later. Andrew's heart tripped in his chest. He was sure he’d never see his fox again. He wondered if it was for the best. If Neil didn’t want to be found. He resolved to drop the guesswork and find out for himself. If Neil wanted nothing to do with him, then he’d just have to tell Andrew himself.

Then he showed up in Palmetto once again like he never left.

“I want that truth now.” Neil swallowed. “Why did you leave?”

“You scared me,” Andrew said without hesitation, as if he had been waiting for this opportunity. Because he had.

Neil flinched. Andrew cursed. He was screwing this up somehow.

“Not like that, rabbit. You made me feel, after a millennium of nothing. You were a weakness and I did not want to risk getting hurt.”

“What about Nicky and Aaron?” Neil shook his head. “I was a danger, I--.”

Andrew stalked closer until they were toe to toe. He gripped Neil's jaw and said, “You were and then you weren't. I hate that I left you alone to deal with them. I hate you think any of this was your fault. _I hate you._ You should not be able to stand the sight of me, let alone _this.”_ He was silent, jaw working until Neil tugged at his shirt.

“Forgive me, Neil.”

“Drew,” Neil sighed his name. Andrew fought not to let out a relieved breath of his own.

“Stop. I didn’t earn that. Not yet.”

Neil leaned closer. “ _Drew.”_

Andrew trembled. “Do not be an idiot.”

“‘M your idiot, right?”

“You’re so stupid.”

“Right?” Blue eyes that had drifted closed, opened and settled on him. Neil's gaze was soft, open, if only a bit fearful. “I’m yours?”

Andrew’s stomach dropped, knowing he put that fear on Neil’s face. He ignored it and tangled his hand in auburn curls. He tugged sharply until they were forehead to forehead. “You are mine and I am yours,” he snarled, needing it to be said. “Now, stop asking me stupid questions.”

Neil's breath hitched. “Yes or no?”

“What did I just--.”

“Kiss me.” It was a request and a demand all in one. Andrew hardly cared. He didn't think he could deny Neil ever again. Leave him wanting ever again. So he didn't.

He kissed him with everything he had. It was an apology and a promise. A declaration and a reminder. It said, _I will never let you go again._

* * *

 

Later, Ichirou summoned Neil and it was not a surprise. They had crippled the Moriyama family. It was to be expected. He wondered if he would make it back. He decided there would be no other alternative.

“You will go to him.” Andrew gripped Neil’s chin, tilting his head down. “And you will come back.”

Neil smiled. “I'll be back, Drew.”

“I will be here. Waiting.”

Neil nipped Andrew’s bottom lip, smiling at the hitch in his breath. “And we will start again.”

* * *

 

Ichirou was every bit as intimidating as his reputation made him out to be. But Neil had something to live for. To fight for. He had his family. He had Jean. He had Andrew back, finally. He would not allow it to be taken from him, elder or not.

“You murdered Tetsuji,” Ichirou mused, eyes cutting.

“You sent him because he was disposable. Do not act surprised when he is.”

Ichirou gazed upon him with a look of grudging acceptance. “You will not stop.”

It was a foregone conclusion. It still needed to be said.

“I will not.”

“What will it take to make you stop?”

Neil smiled a smile bordering on wicked. “Let’s make a deal.”


End file.
